Thursday, October 29, 2009

Big long blog, but worth a read if your kids do this, too.

So today is wear your costumes to school day. I am looking out the window at all the little kids dressed like devils, robots, and princesses running around the school grounds, and it is adorable. Gotta love Fall. Only thing, my little princess refuses to wear her costume (which is an adorable pink princess dress complete with hoop skirt) to school. Is she missing out on all the fun? Will she regret it once she gets there and be sad? I don't know. I hope not.
All my kids seem to have this freakish thing that I just don't get. I don't even know what to call it. It is that they can't go to primary activities after school WITHOUT ME. Or they can't go to school if the bell rings and they are late. Or they don't want to go to school at all because someone will see them. Or they can't wear their costumes to school. Or they can't sing or speak in the primary program. Weird. Random.
Kate went through it until kindergarten. She couldn't even go to preschool. I had to be there every day. Dance? One year of it until we discovered she wouldn't perform. AAAHH! Scott was even more severe. His lasted until he was 8. He wouldn't go to school. He was afraid of being struck by lightning on a cloudy day with no rain. He was simply terrified of the most random things. He wouldn't go to anybody's house even to play. He does now, but when he was 7 he wouldn't even play at his cousin's house unless I was there.
Now it is Kara. The bell rang and she was late yesterday. Instead of running to school she ran home. I being very familiar with this crap didn't let it go down. We went kicking and screaming (I carried her all the way) to school, and I had to put Kara's thrashing hand into Mr. McKinney's hand and quickly explain. Bless his heart. Sometimes if we have guests over, and it can be ANY visitor for even a little bit, she hides and won't join the rest of the family in the visit. Even if we are playing duck duck goose together. Today it is that she won't wear her beautiful costume to school.
Well, I have had enough experience in this situation to know that you let things slide, and if the temptation of "but what if they feel sad later" comes you just ignore it. Because that is what they can do right now. And later when they get bigger, they will have built courage line upon line. And when they are fifth graders like Scotty, they will wear their princess costume to school, go to other people's houses to play, and will participate in all the things that seem to come so naturally to everybody else. i.e. all the little kids in costumes running around the school ground.
Sometimes things are what they are. Like Katelyn will have to have surgery on both feet in four years. It is what it is. In the doctor's office was a vinyl lettering on the wall that said something like, " The most happy person knows how to float along the river instead of trying to push it back unnecessarily." something like that. But it is true. I could fight and have her wear the costume. But it is NOT worth it. Sh e would be unhappy and wouldn't enjoy the gamefilled day to the best way she can. I could fight a lot of battles, but there is some absolute truth to the saying," YOU PICK YOUR BATTLES" I think they should add "AND DON'T FEEL GUILTY ABOUT IT, EITHER. PUNK!" I just added the punk thing for fun. Happy Halloween.

3 comments:

Janetlee said...

Kirsten, I have a son right now, 17 years old and he doesn't want to do anything he doesn't want to do (like graduate from high school) but I CAN tell him I love him and give encouragement without guilt trips. I suppose I could stand over him with a yard stick and
rap on his knuckles everytime he dozes off (almost tried that) but it's hard on relationships and I would have gone through a dozen yard sticks by now. We are all doing the best we can, aren't we? I love you.

Our Family said...

scotty wore a princess costume to school? that would be hard for me to do too....just kidding, i had to read that part twice though. ha ha.

Susan said...

It is good when you finnally come to the stage where these things arn't dibilitaitng. When Kassidy was little she wouldn't sing in the preschool program. I felt horrible over it. Now it would be no big deal. I don't know why all your kids have that same sort of issue going, maybe that is what happens when their mother is so sweet and wonderful, you don't want to leave her! I want you to blog more. I love your posts.