Tonight we were doing the normal song before bed thing, and I started singing to Michael. I did a rap version of "this little pig went to market" it was a fun little beat and I guess Skyler liked it too. Because as I finished with, "This little pig went Wee. Wee. Wee. All the way home." he added his own ending touch by folding his arms with both hands in the peace sign and in his homeboy voice said,"WORM!" I laughed so hard.
For all ya'll who aren't from da 'hood', he was trying to say, "WORD!" Soo so funny. I am still giggling over it.
Thursday, August 27, 2009
planting the flowers and picking the rocks
This morning was supposed to be filled with catching up the chores inside. But instead the sunshine was too tempting, and the boys and I worked on the flower bed instead. We dug together, "buried the flowers" as Michael called it, and picked all those darn rocks that never elude us. The skies were so blue, and we soaked up the sun while we worked together and talked about preschool. We found out from our conversation that Skyler likes the eating part best, (snack time) and Michael likes the playing with people part best. All in all it was much better than doing dishes.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
goodnight Skyler.
Tonight's bedtime song for Skyler was chosen and created by him. He told me he wanted the mom song. "Oh? And what is that?" I asked him. He sang the superman theme but instead of singing, dum dum dum..... he sang mom mom mom, mom mom mom mom moooooooommmmmmmmm. So I felt pretty cool. I get the entire song dedicated to me AND sung in the superman theme. I am supermom.
Lady bug Lady bug fly away home....
The little boys and I sent the bigger ones off to school today in the beautiful morning light, and as we watched them all either enter the playground or be scooped up by the school bus, we decided that it was a much better idea to stay out on the sidewalk searching the weeds nearby for ladybugs than going back in for breakfast. We found a couple, but not many, as I had just sprayed for weeds and they were pretty much dead. But then two dandylions had been found and wished upon which changed everything. Skyler's dandylion wish was for a kiss and hug from mommy. Michael's dandylion wish was that he could find a whole bunch of ladybugs. After Skyler got his wish, we decided to walk up the way a bit to the still living weeds off the side of the road. Boy oh boy was it ladybugpalooza! We luckily had our little tupperware box that was currently holding the various morning glories and dandylion variations that the boys picked for me. They made a perfect house for all the ladybugs.
One thing's for sure, though. Those who wish for something and believe they'll get it, will.
One thing's for sure, though. Those who wish for something and believe they'll get it, will.
Sunday, August 23, 2009
I just finished reading the last post. That was such a good day. And now the grass is growing in the back yard as I write. So awesome. I had a couple people make some comments to me how they were worried about me and stuff. And that is so awesome because I know they care and love me. But no worries. I am fine and was fine. It is okay. It's okay if your life is hard for a time cause it molds and shapes you. It strengthens you, and I wouldn't change any of it. Somebody once said that "Life isn't hard. It is really about your attitude, and whether or not you think it is hard." Well, to that I just have to stick my tongue out and blow raspberries.
My life was hard there for a while. Dang hard. And I think it surprised some people close to me to read my last post because they just assumed things were fine and dandy. And they were, but marathon it was. and hard it was. It still is a little, but not like it was.
One time I was in stake conference and we were in the back with our 1.5 year old boys and our 3 year old girl and our 7 and 9 year old. We struggled with noise, toys, cries, and little ones being bored. It wasn't anything we didn't expect, but nevertheless it was stressful to us. Eventually one of the sippy cups which was entirely full of milk got entirely poured out onto the floor. It was more than I could handle emotionally (you know, the last straw sort of thing) and yes the mom and child left the gym to go stand out in the hall while dad took care of business. I guess the combination of sleepless nights (waking up with three different babies two times each can do that to ya) and stressful situation made me emotional and I began to cry in the hall.
Some wise man came up to me and said,"little ones now, little problems now. Big ones later, big problems later." I guess he was trying to tell me how that since my babies were little that my problems were little. He then went on to counsel me on the subject and I politely nodded. But I thought to myself, you sir, don't know as much as you think you do.
He did have some big problems. His problems required him giving up his life to care for a very sick person in his family round the clock.
Hmmmm sounded familiar to my situation. I too was trying to care for three little ones devotedly, and my life also was consumed by the caring for somebody else situation. I don't think he should have been counseling me on how my problems were just little, and that I should just wait til I was older. Then I'd really deal with some crap. Age doesn't matter.
But here is the point I want to make. I believe that all of us have at least one big test that they are to go through on this Earth. I also think that we are all going to end up learning the same lessons, but that the teaching situation will be different. One thing more that I know, is that mine might happen at 32, for another person it might occur at 69 and still another's might happen at 14. You see what I mean? It isn't necessarily chronological like entering kindergarten and exiting twelfth grade. One might have their lesson occur at a different age than someone else.
I don't ever want to see somebody in the hall of life crying, and tell them that their problem isn't that big. Just wait til they are older. I want to say, it is gonna be okay. And you are going to get through it because you are Father in Heaven's child. You are special and made of some tough stuff. Plus He is right along side you right now. Just look up.
All of the tests we go through are bigger than we are. Or else they wouldn't be tests. And we can be grateful for them. And I am. Am I blessed for having gone through an intense time in my life (and not only related to little ones, there are other things)? I am so blessed. would I change any of the experiences? No. I might change my reaction to them of course, but that just shows that I have learned from them. The things I have learned and the spiritual muscles I have gained are invaluable. I'd never go back. So hard life marathon, yeah. I was given heavenly help during the entire time. Yep. I learned from it and came out on top. YES! Is it okay to have life be hard for a while? Yessir. Does it mean I have a bad attitude? Please. My problems easy compared to some? Probably. Less difficult for me? Nope. I guess that is all I have to say about that.
My life was hard there for a while. Dang hard. And I think it surprised some people close to me to read my last post because they just assumed things were fine and dandy. And they were, but marathon it was. and hard it was. It still is a little, but not like it was.
One time I was in stake conference and we were in the back with our 1.5 year old boys and our 3 year old girl and our 7 and 9 year old. We struggled with noise, toys, cries, and little ones being bored. It wasn't anything we didn't expect, but nevertheless it was stressful to us. Eventually one of the sippy cups which was entirely full of milk got entirely poured out onto the floor. It was more than I could handle emotionally (you know, the last straw sort of thing) and yes the mom and child left the gym to go stand out in the hall while dad took care of business. I guess the combination of sleepless nights (waking up with three different babies two times each can do that to ya) and stressful situation made me emotional and I began to cry in the hall.
Some wise man came up to me and said,"little ones now, little problems now. Big ones later, big problems later." I guess he was trying to tell me how that since my babies were little that my problems were little. He then went on to counsel me on the subject and I politely nodded. But I thought to myself, you sir, don't know as much as you think you do.
He did have some big problems. His problems required him giving up his life to care for a very sick person in his family round the clock.
Hmmmm sounded familiar to my situation. I too was trying to care for three little ones devotedly, and my life also was consumed by the caring for somebody else situation. I don't think he should have been counseling me on how my problems were just little, and that I should just wait til I was older. Then I'd really deal with some crap. Age doesn't matter.
But here is the point I want to make. I believe that all of us have at least one big test that they are to go through on this Earth. I also think that we are all going to end up learning the same lessons, but that the teaching situation will be different. One thing more that I know, is that mine might happen at 32, for another person it might occur at 69 and still another's might happen at 14. You see what I mean? It isn't necessarily chronological like entering kindergarten and exiting twelfth grade. One might have their lesson occur at a different age than someone else.
I don't ever want to see somebody in the hall of life crying, and tell them that their problem isn't that big. Just wait til they are older. I want to say, it is gonna be okay. And you are going to get through it because you are Father in Heaven's child. You are special and made of some tough stuff. Plus He is right along side you right now. Just look up.
All of the tests we go through are bigger than we are. Or else they wouldn't be tests. And we can be grateful for them. And I am. Am I blessed for having gone through an intense time in my life (and not only related to little ones, there are other things)? I am so blessed. would I change any of the experiences? No. I might change my reaction to them of course, but that just shows that I have learned from them. The things I have learned and the spiritual muscles I have gained are invaluable. I'd never go back. So hard life marathon, yeah. I was given heavenly help during the entire time. Yep. I learned from it and came out on top. YES! Is it okay to have life be hard for a while? Yessir. Does it mean I have a bad attitude? Please. My problems easy compared to some? Probably. Less difficult for me? Nope. I guess that is all I have to say about that.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Holy Grass
I can hardly believe what I am about to write myself, so please pardon the complete shock, amazement, and wonder that might seep through onto this page.
A little background first: Honestly I have been having an overwhelming period of my life. A time where there seems to be less hope in my life and not enough positive things to balance it all out. There definitely is good in my life, and great people. But have you ever had a point in your life that the struggle has lasted so long that you just sit back and resign yourself to the fact, that perhaps this is just simply the way life is? And that as I further progress into adulthood, that the stresses and pressures really don't let up, but keep mounting heavier and heavier, even if it is just one grain at a time? I am at that point.
There used to be a time when I would say, "Yes, this is a difficult time, but I am baseline happy. It will pass after a time, and then I will breathe the warm summer air in again and plant a flower or two. I will resume my generally sunshiny life." Well, after several years (not just four or five) I have come to a stage,( as I have decided all do eventually), that life is TOUGH and that it is supposed to be that way. That the pressures are simply heavier now. And they are longer lasting. Kind of like the difference between a sprint and a marathon. Sprints are definitely hard. But marathons are definitely hard and longer lasting. I figure we need these marathons because they mold us and shape us into literally new people.
We all have our marathons of life. I am not unique. And I don't really believe we know when they start nor when they end. But we do know when we are in them. That is when the little thoughts and inspirations begin that something good is about to happen.
Yesterday, after a remarkably difficult day, which occurred after a series of semi difficult days, we got a knock on the door. Dave went to answer it, and there stood the Idaho Sod man in the doorway. The man certainly must have been so pleased to announce, that someone had donated enough sod to fill the lawn and then he asked if he could please go back there and measure. Well I sat at the kitchen table holding my head and crying. I couldn't believe what I was hearing! Was it true? Well I don't know what happened next because I was passed out dead on the floor. Just kidding. But I think it took me an entire day to have such a thing begin to sink in. My heart was bursting for joy. (Insert video clip of Old Faithful erupting, a representation of the magnitude of happiness I was feeling) To think of what it would mean to a family to sacrifice that much, is something that leaves me with complete reverence.
I, I still shake my head in amazement. In awe. In gratitude, happiness, reverence, love, and gratitude, gratitude, gratitude, happiness, love, joy, excitement, gratitude. It has been like that ever since I got the news, swirling around in my head. Never ending. Humility, gratitude, love, thankful, excitement. I can't stop. But who would want to, right?
Dave and I both bawled over the table as the man was measuring the backyard. Do you know what it means to win the lottery? I do now! Except I know that it came from God, to one of His children, to me. Then I think about what kind of a soul would be so prepared to do such a life changing thing. And it is life changing, not only because of the gift part, and the relief, and ability to continue my life now, the freedom and peace it will allow me, but also because of the example it is. Such a deep and profound example of sacrifice and love.
Once I was blessed to get some sod from the church and we jokingly called it the "Holy Grass". Well, now I truly know what it is to have holy grass. Because it was such a gift, it is sacred to me. It is the holy grass.
A little background first: Honestly I have been having an overwhelming period of my life. A time where there seems to be less hope in my life and not enough positive things to balance it all out. There definitely is good in my life, and great people. But have you ever had a point in your life that the struggle has lasted so long that you just sit back and resign yourself to the fact, that perhaps this is just simply the way life is? And that as I further progress into adulthood, that the stresses and pressures really don't let up, but keep mounting heavier and heavier, even if it is just one grain at a time? I am at that point.
There used to be a time when I would say, "Yes, this is a difficult time, but I am baseline happy. It will pass after a time, and then I will breathe the warm summer air in again and plant a flower or two. I will resume my generally sunshiny life." Well, after several years (not just four or five) I have come to a stage,( as I have decided all do eventually), that life is TOUGH and that it is supposed to be that way. That the pressures are simply heavier now. And they are longer lasting. Kind of like the difference between a sprint and a marathon. Sprints are definitely hard. But marathons are definitely hard and longer lasting. I figure we need these marathons because they mold us and shape us into literally new people.
We all have our marathons of life. I am not unique. And I don't really believe we know when they start nor when they end. But we do know when we are in them. That is when the little thoughts and inspirations begin that something good is about to happen.
Yesterday, after a remarkably difficult day, which occurred after a series of semi difficult days, we got a knock on the door. Dave went to answer it, and there stood the Idaho Sod man in the doorway. The man certainly must have been so pleased to announce, that someone had donated enough sod to fill the lawn and then he asked if he could please go back there and measure. Well I sat at the kitchen table holding my head and crying. I couldn't believe what I was hearing! Was it true? Well I don't know what happened next because I was passed out dead on the floor. Just kidding. But I think it took me an entire day to have such a thing begin to sink in. My heart was bursting for joy. (Insert video clip of Old Faithful erupting, a representation of the magnitude of happiness I was feeling) To think of what it would mean to a family to sacrifice that much, is something that leaves me with complete reverence.
I, I still shake my head in amazement. In awe. In gratitude, happiness, reverence, love, and gratitude, gratitude, gratitude, happiness, love, joy, excitement, gratitude. It has been like that ever since I got the news, swirling around in my head. Never ending. Humility, gratitude, love, thankful, excitement. I can't stop. But who would want to, right?
Dave and I both bawled over the table as the man was measuring the backyard. Do you know what it means to win the lottery? I do now! Except I know that it came from God, to one of His children, to me. Then I think about what kind of a soul would be so prepared to do such a life changing thing. And it is life changing, not only because of the gift part, and the relief, and ability to continue my life now, the freedom and peace it will allow me, but also because of the example it is. Such a deep and profound example of sacrifice and love.
Once I was blessed to get some sod from the church and we jokingly called it the "Holy Grass". Well, now I truly know what it is to have holy grass. Because it was such a gift, it is sacred to me. It is the holy grass.
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