Holy Grass

I can hardly believe what I am about to write myself, so please pardon the complete shock, amazement, and wonder that might seep through onto this page.

A little background first: Honestly I have been having an overwhelming period of my life. A time where there seems to be less hope in my life and not enough positive things to balance it all out. There definitely is good in my life, and great people. But have you ever had a point in your life that the struggle has lasted so long that you just sit back and resign yourself to the fact, that perhaps this is just simply the way life is? And that as I further progress into adulthood, that the stresses and pressures really don't let up, but keep mounting heavier and heavier, even if it is just one grain at a time? I am at that point.
There used to be a time when I would say, "Yes, this is a difficult time, but I am baseline happy. It will pass after a time, and then I will breathe the warm summer air in again and plant a flower or two. I will resume my generally sunshiny life." Well, after several years (not just four or five) I have come to a stage,( as I have decided all do eventually), that life is TOUGH and that it is supposed to be that way. That the pressures are simply heavier now. And they are longer lasting. Kind of like the difference between a sprint and a marathon. Sprints are definitely hard. But marathons are definitely hard and longer lasting. I figure we need these marathons because they mold us and shape us into literally new people.
We all have our marathons of life. I am not unique. And I don't really believe we know when they start nor when they end. But we do know when we are in them. That is when the little thoughts and inspirations begin that something good is about to happen.
Yesterday, after a remarkably difficult day, which occurred after a series of semi difficult days, we got a knock on the door. Dave went to answer it, and there stood the Idaho Sod man in the doorway. The man certainly must have been so pleased to announce, that someone had donated enough sod to fill the lawn and then he asked if he could please go back there and measure. Well I sat at the kitchen table holding my head and crying. I couldn't believe what I was hearing! Was it true? Well I don't know what happened next because I was passed out dead on the floor. Just kidding. But I think it took me an entire day to have such a thing begin to sink in. My heart was bursting for joy. (Insert video clip of Old Faithful erupting, a representation of the magnitude of happiness I was feeling) To think of what it would mean to a family to sacrifice that much, is something that leaves me with complete reverence.
I, I still shake my head in amazement. In awe. In gratitude, happiness, reverence, love, and gratitude, gratitude, gratitude, happiness, love, joy, excitement, gratitude. It has been like that ever since I got the news, swirling around in my head. Never ending. Humility, gratitude, love, thankful, excitement. I can't stop. But who would want to, right?
Dave and I both bawled over the table as the man was measuring the backyard. Do you know what it means to win the lottery? I do now! Except I know that it came from God, to one of His children, to me. Then I think about what kind of a soul would be so prepared to do such a life changing thing. And it is life changing, not only because of the gift part, and the relief, and ability to continue my life now, the freedom and peace it will allow me, but also because of the example it is. Such a deep and profound example of sacrifice and love.
Once I was blessed to get some sod from the church and we jokingly called it the "Holy Grass". Well, now I truly know what it is to have holy grass. Because it was such a gift, it is sacred to me. It is the holy grass.